What’s nice about flying into an American city for an IP Conference is that American Airways provide a Sky Mall magazine resplendent with wacky inventions, some of which make the casual callers that think they have a great idea, seem sensible. My favorite pages are the Hammacher Schlemmer listings for things that one can’t imagine how one did without them. For instance, the May offering included the 40 inch foldable photo studio, the weed whacking golf driver for getting out of the rough with its built-in grass trimmer, the magic wand remote control that you can teach to operate the TV, the ultrasonic barking dog deterrent and the Litter Kwitter for potty training a cat to use a human toilet in 8 weeks or less! Does anyone buy these things I wonder? Perhaps I should take up golf or get a cat…
In previous years INTA has held a fun Run. This was supposed to be cancelled this year, see the IPKAT http://ipkitten.blogspot.com/2011/01/where-there-is-friendship-there-is-also.html. However, Humberto Rubio & CIA were advertising it. See http://www.rubiolawyers.com/Sanfran/default.htm I am not sure if this took place, but the Beta Blockers Run most certainly did, and on the way to a breakfast reception in the harbor office, I saw many very strangely dressed (and undressed) people.
I was surprised to learn that San Francisco, like Manhattan, is laid out on as a grid, with roads criss-crossing each other perpendicularly. Whereas Manhattan is flat, San Francisco isn’t, and the roads around Nob hill sloped up and down at 30° to the horizontal.
I took a street car, offering the conductor a business card before realizing that outside the INTA Conference Center, people wanted Clipper cards and money, not business cards. The car lurched along unpleasantly. Due to a misspent youth watching the movies, I was expecting a car chase to cause police cars to come bouncing over the hill and crushing into the street car, but thankfully it didn’t happen.
I saw the sea-lions on Wharf 39 and from the way they lay down lazily, patting their bellies and barking at each other, like INTA participants it appeared that they were recovering from too much beer and partying the night before.
My kids don’t understand the hectic schedule at INTA and expected me to bring back some stuff that is cheaper in the US than in Israel. My wife wanted king sized fitted sheets for our bed, and unfortunately the stuff provided by the hotel was queen sized, so I went to Macy’s.
The kids wanted Lego. I couldn’t find the Danish IP Office who often have a stall advertising search services. No one else had Lego either, so I had to find a toy shop.
Sanyou’s booth at the exhibition center had some very useful suitcase straps in easy to spot rainbow stripes. I put one on my case and felt that it was too San Franciscoish, and not wishing to make loud statements about my sexuality and even less wanting to make loud statements about what isn’t my sexuality, decided not to walk around the San Francisco hotel lobby with rainbow straps about my case, and so travelled from San francisco to Los Angeles without the straps but did put them on for the second leg of the trip only, i.e. from Los Angeles to Tel Aviv.
The guy at passport control was cross that I handed him a business card instead of passport and the same thing happened with my boarding pass at Check In. I seem to have got conditioned to swapping the damn things.
Taking off one’s shoes and belt in the airport seemed a little excessive and running after an INTA bag holding man in a dark suit to take advantage of a final opportunity to swap cards whilst hoisting one’s trousers up is not easy. The woman in front of me was stopped by the security gate. Apparently it was the under-wiring of her bra.
Settling down to sleep on the plane, I swore I’d never do it again. Looking forwards to seeing you all at INTA in Washington next year.
Posted by Dr Michael Factor 
